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he died...

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                                                                                                                         Jan 5 th , 1999             It's been a long time since I've delved into the world of written thought.  Sometimes breaks are good.  It's like when I don't play an instrument for a long time and then start again I find something new.  Well it's been an interesting Christmas.  It was the first Christmas without dad.  I write those words and feel sad.  It is written.  I miss him so much, it’s weird...like mom said we spent a lot of our time here w/o dad really there or involved.  He wasn't a huge part of everyday life!  But he was though. And I miss all those little things.  I'm glad that I got closer to him before he died.  I have to tell myself over and over that the day at Palliative care when he was really out of it on the morphine and I told him how much I loved him and how proud I was to be his son the he heard me.  I know he did